Feeling loved and cared for

Yesterday and the evening before are kind of a blur. I was not feeling well at all. Most of Monday afternoon I was feeling kind of off, then I didn't feel like having any dinner. I got up to make Storm a cup of tea and suddenly I was lightheaded and my chest and stomach felt wierd. I wasn't in pain, but it was startling. I worried Storm. She put me to bed and brought her laptop in so she could sit and keep an eye on me. At one point there was talk of calling 911 or going to the ER. She was afraid there was something wrong with my heart. I was kind of worried myself, but there was a tiny voice of reason lost in the confusion of my head that kept me saying I was okay. We finally came to the conclusion that it was probably the tuna I had for lunch and I was suffering from some form of food poisoning. I fell asleep and in the morning Storm wouldn't let me get out of bed right away. I called my son on his cell phone to wake him up and didn't get out of bed until he was ready for breakfast. Then he and Storm tucked me into my chair with a blanket and I just got to watch the morning go along without me. It was actually kind of nice now that I can look back clearly. I stayed in my chair most of the morning. Storm made me toast and hot chocolate, went to the store to pick up a prescription I had dropped off over the weekend, made me soup for lunch and just basically fussed over me while I dozed. I almost got in trouble for being up when she came back from the store, but nature was insistent! I know now what the issue was, it's happened before but it's been a while. Occasionally I get low on iron or zinc about a week before the red flag flies. It hasn't happened in quite a while and I almost forgot about it.

It was so nice to have Storm watching over me. One of the things we hate the most about being in our long distance situation is that when one of us isn't feeling well the other one can't get to her to help. It's a fear of both of ours I think that something truly serious will happen and there won't be anything we can do. I'm so glad Storm was here though, especially with my parents out of state for the winter. Being alone with only my kids and not having anyone I can really turn to if something goes wrong is such a lonely feeling. I have my neighbor that I could call if there was a serious emergency, but she can't just come sit with me so I'm not alone when I feel like crap. She has her own family and issues and things to do.

There is something about having someone there who can bring you something to drink and just fuss over you when you feel sick or whatever. It's one of the little things that a lot of people take for granted I think. Much as I hated feeling sick and losing those precious hours to something like that I am glad it happened while Storm was still here.

This morning Storm got up and wandered sleepily into the kitchen. I put the kettle on and while it boiled she laid her head on my shoulder and I put my arms around her. I kissed the side of her head and told her I love her. Her arms went around me and she held on tight and I realized she was crying. All I could do was hold her closer and whisper that it will be alright in between kisses. I know it's because Monday she leaves, I know it's for wasted moments while she was here, I know that after nearly three months together it will be so much harder to be apart....but I also know it's only for a short time. She'll be back as soon as she can get things arranged.